Three years ago, if you’d looked at me, you’d have thought that I was some kind of successful businessman. But inside my head and heart, it was a complete mess.I was carrying a heavy load. I’d gone through a rough marriage that ended in painful divorce. I tried dating again after that, but two more relationships fizzled out. I was anxious all the time. I felt “broken” inside. The stress wrecked my sex life too. I was always worried, I couldn’t perform, and I couldn’t feel real joy.
Then a business trip to Dubai changed everything.
The Accidental Discovery
I was in Dubai for work, but the stress got to me, so I signed up for a meditation retreat to calm down. That’s where I met Helene; she was a volunteer teacher there. We started talking on breaks, and she told me that she did Tantra massage. I’m gonna be honest: when I first heard “Tantra,” my mind jumped to the gutter. I thought, “Oh, isn’t that just a fancy name for a ‘happy ending’ massage?”
I figured it was just about sex. I thought it sounded sleazy.
Helene was kind and patient, explaining it wasn’t about any of that. It was about energy, healing, and connection, she said. Still skeptical but curious, desperate for something to help me feel better, I asked for a session.
The First Session: Breaking the Armor
I remember walking into the room for that first session. It didn’t look like a doctor’s office, and it wasn’t a cheesy spa either. It felt safe. The lights were dim, there was a soft scent in the air, and for the first time in years, the world felt quiet.
What happened afterwards is hard to describe, but I’ll try to give you the smallest details. During a normal massage, the therapist digs into your muscles to fix a knot. But Helene wasn’t just touching my skin; it felt like she was touching my emotions. She taught me how to breathe. Deep, slow breaths. As she worked, she didn’t rush. There was no rush to “finish.” The goal was just to be there.
About twenty minutes into it, I began to cry. Not just a few tears, either-I was sobbing. I wasn’t sad in that moment, but it was like a dam had broken. All of the pain from my divorce, the insults, the loneliness, the feeling of not being “good enough”-all poured out.I realized that I had been wearing a suit of armor to protect myself for years. Under Helene’s hands, that armor melted. I felt seen. I felt accepted. I did not have to be that strong businessman anymore. I could just be David.
The Journey: 40 Sessions Later
That was just the first session. For the last three years, whenever I come to Dubai or go to Europe where Helene is, I book a session. I’ve done about 40 sessions now.
Here’s exactly how it healed me:
Healed Trauma: I learned that we store bad memories in our bodies. My shoulders and stomach were holding onto the stress of my failed marriage. The massage helped release that tension. I stopped looking back at the past with anger.
Fixing My Anxiety and Sex Life: Because of my past, I had huge performance anxiety. I was terrified of intimacy. Tantra taught me that sex isn’t a performance or a test. It’s about connection. My anxiety disappeared because I learned to get out of my head and into my body.
Living in the present-moment awareness: Biggest lesson. I used to always worry about the future or regret what happened in the past. Now, I know how to channel my energy in being here and now.
Addressing the Taboo: What People Get Wrong
There’s a big cloud of shame associated with Tantra massage, which I would like to dispel.
The Big Myth: People think it’s sex work. Truth: It’s energy work.
In Tantra massage, the boundaries are clear: it is not about lust or a quick thrill; rather, it is about moving the energy in your body. It teaches you to feel every inch of yourself without shame. What society teaches us is that touch is either “sexual” or “medical.” We don’t have a space for touch that’s just “healing” and “loving” without it being about sex. Tantra fills that gap. It removes the shame we feel about our own bodies.
Why You Have to Try It Once in Your Lifetime
I really do think that everybody should try this at least once. Here’s why:
You need to reconnect with yourself: We are always looking at screens. We forget that we have bodies until they hurt. Tantra brings you back home into your body.
To release old baggage: You may not even know what sadness you’re carrying until someone helps you let it go.
Learning real intimacy: It teaches you to be gentle with yourself, which helps you be gentle with others. My Life Today Today, my life is completely different. I’m not that angry, anxious, divorced guy anymore. I’m happy. I am now in another relationship, but it is the healthiest one I have ever known. My new partner has seen the change in me and is herself taking Tantra massage training. We are exploring this path together. I have even begun to take it seriously myself, learning the techniques so I can help others the way Helene helped me. If you’re hurting or you’re just curious, don’t let the taboos stop you. It might just save your life. It certainly saved mine.
~David A. Cohen (Name Changed)
